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Chapter  7: Family Matters

7/22/2013

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COVETING – JEALOUSY 
In the Decalogue, the word covet (chet-mem-dalet) and crave (aleph-vav-heh) are used in the tenth commandment for humans desiring that which another person possesses. The bible generally uses jealous (kuf-nun-aleph) when referencing God, as in the second commandment which declares to have no other Gods for Adonai is a jealous God. 

Discussion:
Are there distinctions between coveting, craving and jealousy?
 
If God is jealous and we are to strive to be Divine, is there any positive attribute to jealousy?

The Rambam (Hilkhot Gezeila Va-aveida 1:11) writes:

 "Desire leads to coveting, and coveting leads to stealing. For if the owner (of the coveted object) does not wish to sell, even though he is offered a good price and is entreated to accept, the person (who covets the object) will come to steal it, as it is written (Mikha 2:2), 'They covet fields and (then) steal them.' And if the owner approaches him with a view to reclaiming his money or preventing the theft, then he will come to murder. Go and learn from the example of Achav and Navot."

 Thus, the prohibition of "You shall not covet" is a fence or boundary keeping us at a safe distance from the very serious sins that may result from it and that may cause very serious harm to others: theft, adultery, and – most serious of all – even murder.[1]
 
How difficult is it to control your desire for something? 

What do you gain when you can be satisfied without that which you thought you needed?

How do you obtain the ability to gain that control?

RELATIONSHIPS
 
Throughout our lives we encounter people that are healthy for us to be in a relationship with and other that are not healthy. Sometimes these people are casual acquaintances and pass quickly in and out of our lives. At other times, people are in our lives for extended periods of time. How do we deal with people who are not healthy in our lives?

Consider Ezra in the suit with pins. He “was afraid to move quickly since the pins were now sticking in every direction indicating seams to let out and others to take in.” Have you ever felt that you were in a situation that whatever choice you made, you would be hurt or would hurt someone? Journal about what you did and how it felt. If you found yourself in a similar situation, what would you do the same? What would you do differently? If anyone is comfortable sharing, do so. 
 
BULLYING - need to fill in material from file
(forgive and move on)
 
REFERENCE MATERIAL IN CHAPTER 1 
If you have not worked through the material in chapter 1 on HOME and FAMILY, you can do so here.
 
 
FROM THE TORAH

And they buried him, Isaac and Ishmael, his sons, in the cave of Machpelah...

Discuss what happens at reunions. Are there different events and different reactions to different types of reunions, i.e., family vs. school vs. camp, a few friends vs. a large group?
If you have ever attended a reunion, reflect on what effect it had on your memories of places, events, people.

Imagine Isaac and Ishmael meeting again as adults. Write a narrative for the first ten minutes of their encounter. 

  
[1] Maimonides, Hilkhot Gezeila Va-aveida 1:11, http://www.vbmtorah.org/parsha.63/17yitro.htm , 6.10.2013


 
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